garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
