Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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