Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
