The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
