so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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