first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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