u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
