Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
