just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
