i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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