So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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