i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
