bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
