Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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