yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
