Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
