My first STD was from a foam party
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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