Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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