Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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