she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
