Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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