just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
