dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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