My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
worst night to have a conscience
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You ruined the universe
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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