Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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