Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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