I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
