but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
