Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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