We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
