Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
