I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just found puke in my bra..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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