did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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