you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
