Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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