Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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