a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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