If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
