what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
