fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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