Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
