I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's official drugs can't kill me
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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