Buhtt sex?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
