Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
