this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize