i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
