covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Enjoy the penises
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
