A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
