Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
4 words: hood of his car
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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