if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
