So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
