there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My vagina just recognized that song.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
