VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We talked him into tasing himself.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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