Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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