There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
