Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
