I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
