its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize