Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
