I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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