did you get engaged???
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
