I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
this is an emotional support booty call
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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