Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
