i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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