They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
